The healthfood store was all out of Nasoya “Nayonaise” which we use in our house instead of Hellmans. But we all like Hellman’s too, so I stopped in to obtain it instead from Walmart. Ah, there it was, in one of those massive towering promotional displays at the end of the aisle. It was only as I actually grabbed it and put it in the cart as I careened toward the check-out area, that I realized it was more that just a jar of mayonaise. It had a sort of tumorous growth bulging off it’s backside. I looked at it closely as I waited on the register line; the plastic label was shrink-wrapped around the plastic jar of mayonaise AND the tumorous growth. It said “BONUS!” above the Hellman’s logo on the front, and there was an image of Lipton’s Onion something. It turns out that they have included, for the discounted price of the mayonaise, a “free” packet of Lipton’s onion dip mix. I was immediately suspicious. Why? What is Lipton’s onion dip mix? Why do they want everyone to have it? An obvious answer might be that they hope that once people taste it, they will want to eat it all the time and then sales for onion dip mix will skyrocket. I do not ingest much Lipton onion dip mix in my social circles, but I am aware that it is already a key ingredient in maybe the majority of American homes where chips are served with dips….or at parties in those homes anyway. It seemed unlikely that Lipton’s could really hope for much of an increase in sales, as I believe they have already cornered the market so to speak. I do not event think there is a healthfood version of Lipton’s onion dip mix, though I am probably wrong here. But if there is, I do not think it is enjoying anything near the popularity of Lipton’s.
SO then I checked the ingredients. In tiny letters that I had trouble reading, it said “CONTAINS: SALT, CORN STARCH, ONION POWDER, SUGAR, AUTOLYZED YEAST EXTRACT (BARLEY), CARAMEL COLOR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL, MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE, CORN SYRUP, DISODIUM INSOMATE, DISODIUM GRANULATE, SULFUR DIOXIDE (USED TO PROTECT QUALITY)
Whew! I’m ready to throw the gift tumour away. Monosodium glutamate is the stuff that gives people headaches isn’t it? Partially hydrogenated soybean oil is not food, it is used by food companies the same way I use damar varnish in my oil paint; to make a more manageable consistency. Give me my health and an unmanageable consistency any day. The fat in my arteries, not to mention on my thighs, needs no further coagulation thank-you very much.